Shiny Around the Edges - The Night is a Disco

More of a concept record than a collection of actual songs, Denton's Shiny Around the Edges recently released their score for David Lynch's next project, The Night is a Disco. Let's break this down a little at a time, shall we?

“Carlos Fuentes” – Just like a four-year-old reading one of Fuentes' novels, I have no idea what the point of this track really is. This feeling sets the tone for the rest of the record.

“Summer Waltz” – This sounds like a typical middle school talent show performance that other kids' parents have to sit through. Thank god for smart phones, huh?

“War Love Song” – Very apparent by its title, War Love Song goes from melodic to unbridled chaos at a moment's notice. Gee, didn't see that coming.

“Tloque Nahuaque” * – Hippie filler.

“The Weight of Sunshine is Immense” * – Instead, it should be titled “Spaceship Docking with a Music Box.”

“Quicklime” – Pretty sure they stole this song from Paper Robot and added a saxomaphone in an attempt to make it less shitty. It didn't work.

“Seven Years Between Stations” * – The soothing sounds of my Sharper Image alarm clock.

“Mexico” - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gIUMsgE8w8U

“Butterflies” – By this point in the record, I feel like I've already heard this song.

“Canyon Song” – I actually fell asleep at one point listening to this one. It's like the goddamn Energizer Bunny.

“Like a Blade of Grass” * – NIN filler.

“Seventeen” – Okay, I'm getting really bored with this record. Please tell me it's over soon.

“Reading Scripts” – And just as slowly as it began, the album creeps towards the finish line, with a definitive voice, but without any real direction.

* - These tracks aren't really songs. Just the filler/glue that holds this student art project together.

DOMA 2012

OK, so the DOMAs came and went again and, as usual, it was a big fucking jerk-off fest. Each year the area's “biggest” acts are all hand-picked for us by a board of “taste-makers” that we get to vote for. Everyone votes multiple times for whatever it is they remember reading about the most on said taste-makers' sites. Then, “winners” are declared, thus proving that what we've been reading about must really be great. This process is repeated annually, and the ones that know how to play the game spin this into national attention so that they don't have to show up next year. Yes, Jaffe, that means you. So let's take a moment to talk about a few of this year's acts that we may or may not ever hear from again.

Sarah Jaffe – Best Album, Best Solo Act, Best Video & Best Female Vocalist

You know how much we love Sarah around here. It came as no surprise that she won every single category that she was nominated for (even for the video, but let's be honest, that thing was boring). The thing is, I don't think she gives a shit. She's already bigger than Dallas and I predict that she will be moving away sooner or later. She's made no mention of her multiple wins online. Once this Conan thing airs, she'll be gone and we'll be running around, trying to find our next big thing to claim as our own. Grow up DFW--it looks like she finally did.

Mind Spiders – Best Song & Best Punk Act

I'm afraid to say anything about these guys, for fear that they might kick my ass. I don't really have anything against these guys. They're doing well for themselves and how hard is it to play punk rock? I mean, this award could've gone to any of Mark Ryan's bands and I wouldn't have known the difference.

The O's – Best Roots/Americana Act

These two are just plain boring. I can't get into it. If you dig them, they're begging for money, so go give them some here.

Power Trip – Best Hardcore Act

Music to kill braincells to.

The Breakfast Machine – Best Rock Act

This is a rock band? The Spice Girls were heavier than this pop-garbage.

Hares on the Mountain – Best Folk Act

If all you have to do to win Best Folk Act is convince a group of skilled musicians to back you in your tune-less, drunken rantings about nothing in particular, then look for fudfw to win this category next year.

The Cannabinoids - Best Funk/R&B Act

Gee, the band Erykah Badu is mildly associated with won the award? You're joking...

Petra Kelly – Best Instrumentalist

I hate all of your bands. I think. I'm not sure how many you're in now.

Pinkish Black – Best Metal Act

Whenever I see these guys, I close my eyes and pretend that it's Fantômas doing an interpretation of The Phantom of the Opera. Now if that's not metal...



a.Dd+ – Best Group Act



Wrong again. Check out what we think of their new single here.



The Gorehounds – Best Cover Band



This award is celebrating the best at being unoriginal. Good job!



35 Denton – Best Festival



The best thing about 35 Denton is not having to drive to Austin to see the same bands. The worst thing about 35 Denton is everything else: the (mostly) expected lineups, the awful cover videos, how seriously it takes itself, etc., etc. I thought Denton was proud of not being Austin. Guess I was wrong.



Magnificent Beard - Best Poster Artist/Screenprinter



Although this has to be the lamest category, they got this one right. That Wu-Tang poster owns.



Jason Elmore – Best Blues Act
Cutter – Best Electronic Act
My Wooden Leg – Best None of the Above
Mariachi Los Unicos de Greiner - Best Latin/Tejano Act
Leon the Professional – Best Mixtape
Blackstone Rangers – Best New Act



I've never heard of any of you. Probably for the best.



DJ Sober – Best DJ
New Fumes – Best Experimental Act
Daniel Hart – Best Male Vocalist
Burning Hotels – Best Pop Act
Yells at Eels – Best Jazz Act
Somebody's Darling – Best Country Act
Good Recordings - Best Label
Salim Nourallah – Best Producer
Parade of Flesh - Best Talent Buyer
Good Records - Best Record Store
The Paul Slavens Show, KKXT-FM 91.7 - Best Radio Show
The Granada Theater – Best Venue
The Foundry – Best New Venue



I've heard of you, but either you or your category is so lame that I didn't want to waste my time.

a.Dd+ - Suitcases

How can a.Dd+ claim that other people's shit is “too plain for [them]” when they rap about being “fly” and how they need their “bread to rise”? The grandstanding of hip-hop just seems a little played out nowadays. I thought people were turning to local talent because the radio had failed them, not just because they wanted more of the same at a discount. Oh well. Hey guys, the reason you're still residing in your mom's living room just might be that you don't have anything “fucking brilliant” to say after all. You might just want to unpack and settle in for a while.