OK, so the DOMAs came and went again
and, as usual, it was a big fucking jerk-off fest. Each year the
area's “biggest” acts are all hand-picked for us by a board of
“taste-makers” that we get to vote for. Everyone votes multiple
times for whatever it is they remember reading about the most on said
taste-makers' sites. Then, “winners” are declared, thus proving
that what we've been reading about must really be great. This process
is repeated annually, and the ones that know how to play the game
spin this into national attention so that they don't have to show up
next year. Yes, Jaffe, that means you. So let's take a moment to talk
about a few of this year's acts that we may or may not ever hear from
again.
Sarah Jaffe – Best Album, Best
Solo Act, Best Video & Best Female Vocalist
You know how much we love Sarah around
here. It came as no surprise that she won every single category that
she was nominated for (even for the video, but let's be honest, that
thing was boring). The thing is, I don't think she gives a shit.
She's already bigger than Dallas and I predict that she will be
moving away sooner or later. She's made no mention of her multiple
wins online. Once this Conan thing airs, she'll be gone and we'll be
running around, trying to find our next big thing to claim as our
own. Grow up DFW--it looks like she finally did.
Mind Spiders – Best Song &
Best Punk Act
I'm afraid to say anything about these
guys, for fear that they might kick my ass. I don't really have
anything against these guys. They're doing well for themselves and
how hard is it to play punk rock? I mean, this award could've gone to
any of Mark Ryan's bands and I wouldn't have known the difference.
The O's – Best Roots/Americana Act
These two are just plain boring. I
can't get into it. If you dig them, they're begging for money, so go
give them some here.
Power Trip – Best Hardcore Act
Music to kill braincells to.
The Breakfast Machine – Best Rock
Act
This is a rock band? The Spice Girls
were heavier than this pop-garbage.
Hares on the Mountain – Best Folk
Act
If all you have to do to win Best Folk
Act is convince a group of skilled musicians to back you in your
tune-less, drunken rantings about nothing in particular, then look
for fudfw to win this category next year.
Gee, the band Erykah Badu is mildly
associated with won the award? You're joking...
I hate all of your bands. I think. I'm
not sure how many you're in now.
a.Dd+ – Best Group Act
Wrong again. Check out what we think of their new single here.
The Gorehounds – Best Cover Band
This award is celebrating the best at being unoriginal. Good job!
35 Denton – Best Festival
The best thing about 35 Denton is not having to drive to Austin to see the same bands. The worst thing about 35 Denton is everything else: the (mostly) expected lineups, the awful cover videos, how seriously it takes itself, etc., etc. I thought Denton was proud of not being Austin. Guess I was wrong.
Magnificent Beard - Best Poster Artist/Screenprinter
Although this has to be the lamest category, they got this one right. That Wu-Tang poster owns.
Jason Elmore – Best Blues Act
Cutter – Best Electronic Act
My Wooden Leg – Best None of the Above
Mariachi Los Unicos de Greiner - Best Latin/Tejano Act
Leon the Professional – Best Mixtape
Blackstone Rangers – Best New Act
I've never heard of any of you. Probably for the best.
DJ Sober – Best DJ
New Fumes – Best Experimental Act
Daniel Hart – Best Male Vocalist
Burning Hotels – Best Pop Act
Yells at Eels – Best Jazz Act
Somebody's Darling – Best Country Act
Good Recordings - Best Label
Salim Nourallah – Best Producer
Parade of Flesh - Best Talent Buyer
Good Records - Best Record Store
The Paul Slavens Show, KKXT-FM 91.7 - Best Radio Show
The Granada Theater – Best Venue
The Foundry – Best New Venue
I've heard of you, but either you or your category is so lame that I didn't want to waste my time.
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